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This series of blog posts will take the shape of letters written to the person who needs to hear them. I find this method of writing to be therapeutic to me and I hope that hearing my words will help someone else out there who may be going through something similar in their own lives. Journaling to process thoughts and emotions is a tool that was taught to me by some wonderful mental health professionals who were pivotal in my journey to health. I loved this method so much, I wanted to share it with all of you.
To the “Me” of 2023,
What a year. So many highs and so many lows, and girl, you conquered them all, some with grace and poise, others through anger and tears, but the point is that you did it and you did it for you, for yourself.
The year ended differently than you expected. Turning 40 in November was a benchmark that you hoped would be your complete fresh start. You wanted to unveil the new you to the world, which you did, but you did through a rougher experience than you wanted.
First of all, I am PROUD of you, like so fucking proud of you. This year was absolutely out of your comfort zone and you pulled it off, against all odds, against the fact that you were told for years you could never do it on your own, and without your “normal” support system. No one ever said that going through incredible trauma and a divorce would be easy, and you learned that for yourself, completely. You held on to your truth and shared your experiences with the world, so hopefully, you could help someone that was in your position and is afraid to ask for help. You defied your traumas and the learned behaviors that have held you down for so many years and YOU FUCKING DID IT.
This year really was great for you, so please don’t dwell on the hard parts. I know it is so easy for you to forget your wins because your self esteem isn’t as high as you want it to be yet, but again, that’s growth because you are unlearning your learned behaviors. This year you started two new businesses (that is something to shout from the rooftops!). You traveled across Europe and had a hell of an experience. Don’t forget you did it without luggage and you made it through with laughter and grace, because I know there is ZERO way you could have done that a few years ago. It would have destroyed your trip, but this really helped make your vacation that much memorable. You moved to YOUR house (like you alone!) and named it the “Freedom House” which was the perfect place for you to continue to grow and spread your wings. You rebranded yourself and designed the life that you desired. You switched real estate brokerages on your own (now you just have to get your butt working). You made memories that you will never forget. You grew your circle which is a lot because you struggle with trust issues from past trauma (you seriously need to keep working on that FYI). You continued to work your ass off in therapy, which is really hard work. After the heartbreaking loss of your dear Wrigley, (which I worried you wouldn’t recover from), you did. You honor his memory and also brought the Cavapoo puppy, Maggie into your life and she fits you perfectly. She is sweet, a little spicy, a bit sassy, outsmarts you, and leads with her heart first. You two are the perfect pair. I know that this puppy stage is really trying your patience, but if you hadn’t worked so hard to learn patience you would crumble. You aren’t—you and Maggie are thriving. This year you worked hard to understand your finances and learn how to manage them and you really did a really great job. You worked so hard to do it all on your own and then learned you couldn’t, and leaned on your support system so they would help hold all of the pieces together. You also learned a VERY important lesson. You have got to work on creating an emergency savings fund (gosh your mum would have been so proud of you to have learned that and actually understand that).
Towards the end of the year your health took center focus, and not in the way you were hoping. You got really sick and it was hard. You learned that being incredibly sick when you are on your own is really, really hard. Earlier in the year your health took a fantastic turn and you beat some odds that I am pretty sure no one ever expected you to. You spent years hating your body and feeling really down about yourself because of it. This year you got to a healthy weight for the first time since college. You workout because you enjoy it and you like to feel strong. You have continued to work on having a healthy relationship with food. Don’t let people get to you that tell you that you have lost too much weight or you look too skinny. You and your doctors know the work that you have done and they are very comfortable with your weight, and that’s good. The important thing, though, is that you feel good and you are being healthy with eating and working out and that is all that matters.
You have got some work ahead of you for 2024 but I know and trust that you will do it to the best of your ability. You will continue to share your truth, not only for your healing but also to help those that are afraid to ask. You will kill it in your businesses and you will make your mark in the world on your own. You will continue to work on your health. You will keep working through therapy. You will be financially independent (which is a huge goal) because I know that is what you truly want. You will also smile and laugh, because let’s be real, that’s what life should be about.
Heather, I am really dang proud of you and how far you have come. Some people want you to fail and you ignored them and proved them wrong. So many people wanted you to grow and succeed and I am so happy that you relied on them and allowed them to support you.
You got this. No one can stop you. Cheers to OUR future!
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